My proposal to the SEB:
We need to have a street tire class. Because I say so. It’s what I want. And thousands of others too. They won’t say it, but they want it—trust me, I’m smart. I think we can do it with one stock street tire class, open to all stock-eligible cars. Street tire is treadwear 140 and not too expensive. Cars will be allowed certain competition adjustments (or given penalties) so that the playing field is level. This allows us to not even use indexing, which you guys don’t like even though it lets you do cool stuff with results. Those adjustment/penalties are:
SS: Only cars at least one year old allowed. Screw you rich, elitist pricks. Cars will be required to run wheels that are 2” narrower than stock. Swaybars must be removed. Shocks cannot be replaced, even with fresh OEM’s. Car must add ballast equivalent in weight to a typical horse (Due to cargo capacity issues, Elise’s will be allowed to pull a trailer to meet this requirement.)
AS: Cars must drive the entire course in 3rd gear.
BS: Cars must be prepped to the “Milstead Level.” Whatever Cole has done to his RX-8 at the start of an event is what you’re allowed to do. Additionally, every time you beat Cole heads-up, you must add 10 tennis racquets of weight (real tennis racquets, not uber-expensive ones made of super-lightweight, unobtanium alloys.)
CS: The Miata mafia pisses me off. No CS cars in People's Indexed Stock Street Tire (PISST)
DS: These cars are camber challenged. That eats tires. That's bad. They get camber plates.
ES: ES cars are required to install remote-resevoir, triple-adjustable shocks as part of full coilover suspension packages. This way, a cheap alternative is made more expensive. I want cheap, but that’s not the flavor of cheap I want.
FS: These cars are tire eaters too. Because they have too much power. All cars must install SCCA-manufactured cylinder deactivation systems.
GS: GS cars seem pretty good. Except the sedans are discriminated against. Sedans get a forced induction allowance along with complete wheel and rear swaybar freedom.
HS: These cars are slow. What the heck: let them run R-tires.
Based on my statistical analysis of haphazardly collected Internet data from regions I’ve never run with but can characterize if you’d like, I feel that this will create a level playing field that all grassroots drivers who are like me will embrace. Start finding new sites, because the flood is coming. Oh, I used some PAX factors and stuff too...Excel spreadsheet of evidence available upon request.
P.S. Kids, ladies, and prepared/mod drivers are getting preferential treatment. I don’t like it.
Bryan
2006 Chrysler Crossfire
DS #187
Yeah, seriously...A Chrysler
2008 C6 Z51 waiting in the wings...